April 13 Exploring Heart Opening: Enduring Friendships, Ustrasana (Camel Pose) and Dorothy’s Potato Leek & Corn Soup
- rockbriarfarm
- Apr 13
- 6 min read
Since returning from my recent trip to Utah, I have been thinking about long-term friendships. We all have those few people in our lives that we always know are there for us; through thick or thin, that instinctively know when we need them, are willing to cancel their agenda to be there (physically or emotionally) and with who we can “just be” when words are not necessary or we are unable to muster the strength to converse. I am blessed to have these kinds of friends in my life; some I see or talk to regularly, some not as often. Our commitment to be there for each other is steadfast.
After Dorothy and I spent 10 days together (17 x 7 – we did have to sleep after all), it got me really thinking about what makes these friendships so enduring. It does not hurt that we have known each other 50 plus years, that we are almost exactly the same size and have similar taste in clothes (makes the whole packing for a trip much easier) or that we like to do almost exactly the same things for fun (except shopping which I do not really like but enjoy in small amounts on vacation - and yoga and consignment shopping which she tolerates when forced). We like to read, hike, snowshoe, walk, bike, repurpose and recycle, garden, cook and eat. We are both very motivated by finding ways to serve the underserved and constantly debate how best to create a just and equitable society.
As I thought about that last commonality, I wondered how much that specific interest defines our friendship. Surely our friendship was cemented in many ways long before we became socially or politically aware. Or was it? We grew up in a university town and were surrounded primarily by families that were related to the college, and this was the 70’s! We were exposed to religion, social justice causes and while perhaps not actively discussing it while playing as kids, it kind of seeped into us. Our families talked about things like migrant workers’ rights, the environment, civil rights and the less fortunate. We did trash pickups and collected money, food and other things for the less fortunate. I have great admiration for friends who came from families that did not have this backdrop and have become socially aware and active. Not sure if I would have developed that commitment and empathy without my outside influences.
On the other hand, Dorothy and I do not always agree on every topic we cover. We have lively debates and then send each other articles exploring the things we discussed. Recently we had a vociferous chat about whether colleges and universities should refuse to cave on things like cuts in DEI policies when federal funding cuts are on the table. Do we sacrifice the education of the masses by holding fast to “principles”. We are still working through that one!
After thinking about this I returned to what I have said in blogs before, good friendships need care and nurturing. They need thoughtful and respectful conversation. If we avoid topics because they are “off limits”, then perhaps we should examine the bedrock of that friendship. It is perfectly reasonable to avoid personal, social or political topics with cursory friends, the people you have coffee with after Pilates or who attend your book club. It is wonderful to have wide diverse groups of people that you spend time with, they do not all need to be in your inner circle. Having relationships with people that do not necessarily think the way you do provides good diversity, we know what happens in society when it is homogenous in appearance and thought. If it is important to you (and this too is a personal choice) that your closest friends engage and embrace respectful, fact-based debate with you on things that you feel define your core self, it is reasonable and healthy to request and expect that to happen. While I love the fun times, having friends that know and support who I am at the core is also vital. If we share ideas and listen and perhaps are open to changing our minds when presented with facts, there is hope for the world.
So how does this relate to our practice? Remember, as Rolf Gates tells us, “Yoga is not a work-out, it is a work-in. And this is the point of spiritual practice: to make us teachable; to open our hearts and focus our awareness so that we can know what we already know and be who we already are.” So as practitioners of this practice, we use all eight limbs, embracing the physical, mental and spiritual, helping us find and support our best selves, and solid friendships, built on trust and respect, are a huge part of that equation.
So going forward this week, let’s work on those friendships, make the call, drop the note, check in on a friend. And, when the opportunity arises, remember “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak’ (Epictetus). We might surprise ourselves when we truly listen.
Meditating On Friendships
This week I want to remind us of a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson on friendship. He was an American Transcendentalist poet, philosopher and essayist during the 19th century and started his career as a Unitarian minister.
“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.”
“When I say it's you I like, I'm talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.” – Fred Rogers
Our Practice – Heart Opening – Ustrasana (Camel Pose)
Thinking about friendships got me thinking about opening our heart chakra with love – both love for our friends and self-love, which can be a challenge for many of us. We know that the exercise aspect of yoga supports a healthy heart. In life, however, experiences can block our hearts-we allow this to avoid additional hurt or pain. This results in the heart chakra, one of the primary energy centers in the body, becoming closed or unbalanced. We then may find it difficult to experience love, compassion, grace. As we work through our complete 8 limbed practice, we strive to open our heart, balance the heart chakra and be receptive to love, human connections and friendships.
Camel Pose (Ustrasana) is a strong heart opener. Camel stretches the front of the body, particularly the chest, abdomen, quadriceps, and hip flexors. It creates space in the chest/lungs and can increase breathing capacity.
To Practice:
Begin in a high kneeling position with your thighs parallel to each other and your hands on your lower back (fingers up or down). Tuck your toes under (later you can try with tops of the feet flat).
Lift up out of your belly and waist to lengthen your spine. As you move into the backbend, lead with your chest and let your head follow (think rainbow versus leaning back). Try not to toss your head back but also avoid tucking chin or not moving your head at all. Initiate the backbend with your chest and move the back of your head back (not the crown) to keep length in the back of your neck. This could be enough, hold for several breaths.
If you want to take it a little further, you can reach one hand or both hands back towards your heels. Press pelvis forward thinking about the rainbow image or backbending over a huge exercise ball as you lead with your chest and move the back of your head back to follow. When you're ready to come up out of the pose, lead with your chest, pressing your hands at the lower back to support. Head comes up last.
Nurturing with Food – Dorothy’s Potato Leek & Corn Soup
I loved this soup so much last year when I was visiting Dorothy that I requested that she make it again. Accompanied by a salad (I make those, she doesn’t love all the chopping, have I mentioned that salad is my favorite food?) and crusty bread it is a delicious and hearty meal. I went to look for the leftovers while in Utah and found that Bart (Dorothy’s husband) had beat me to them. So delicious.
See you on the mat,
Namaste,
Julia Anne
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